Hello again! Today I wanted to tackle a big hurdle for writers, DMs, and game content writers alike. Hell, any sort of writer has trouble with this at one point or another. I’ve fallen through pitfalls of this one before. As someone leaning heavily into my writing career, this is one I’ll be putting into practice myself for everything.
Dialogue is hard. In a time of masks, social distancing, and a feeling of altogether detachment, conversation and the cues behind it are quickly falling into dust. Social media is bigger than ever. If your sentence doesn’t have an emoji or a classic ‘lol’ attached, people might not understand what you’re saying behind a screen. Wistfully, people turn to avenues like books, video games, and more to distract them from this cold and distant world.
Your writing doesn’t have to be like this, but it might take some time to break yourself from the social norms and have your characters act as though this pandemic isn’t weighing over their head – unless it is in your story, in which case, I’m sorry.
I’ll try to support each point with varying examples, since some apply more to one type of writing than others. So without further ado…
- Avoid lore dumping. I know this one hits different, so let me explain myself. In novel writing, DMing, and game writing, sometimes this is the biggest way to flesh out your world. I’m absolutely not saying to not use it – done correctly, characterized lore dumping is the most memorable way to build the world of your choice. Writers have descriptions, DMs have their guides, and game writers often have separate menus or windows for players to dive into the worldbuilding you provide. However, not everyone will learn or remember your world by just having a character statically talk about it. Keep the conversation relevant and pertaining to not only what the characters are doing, but what certain characters are likely to talk about.
What NOT to do: Will tells Ryoku how weather in Vortiger changes extremes each day. While they walk to the Registry, Will tells Ryoku about the economy of the town. Nothing has to do with each other. Why is Will talking about this right now? Even if Ryoku asked, it seems inorganic to jump around to irrelevant worldbuilding. A hint dropped here and there, in good context, CAN lead to the reader wondering about Vortiger long before its introduced, but they also could easily forget.
Try: On their way to the Registry, Will tells Ryoku what other Defenders are like in his home world, his experiences with them, and the reception he’s seen towards them. Perhaps on their way, they see clouds coming overhead and Will comments on it, comparing Harohto weather to his own. This keeps the conversation relevant and builds up some expectation and understanding for what he’s about to do. In addition, it begins to show how an important character feels about Defenders, and does the split task of providing worldbuilding while displaying a characters’ skills.
I see many writers try to do this in the most unorganic fashion. It’s present in modern TV shows, in gaming (though subverted in humor, it can be amusing), and in many a book. I could write a whole blog on how to give proper exposition and what to avoid – that might be next. But for now, remember: the biggest limit writers all have is our word/page count, or how long somebody’s willing to pay attention. The more you can accomplish with fewer words, the more likely your readers are to remember it. That brings us to…
2. Less is more. In real life, this is usually a sigh of relief. The most memorable conversations are quick and relay relevant information right away. Unless it has plot relevance, you can leave out the greetings and quick goodbyes between characters who know each other well already. You can trim off the ‘how about that weather?’ unless either the weather is important or you want your readers to want to strangle your character – which isn’t wrong, per se. Niceties can be reserved for a character’s first meeting. If they separate and reunite a bunch of times, they’re likelier to skip the pleasantries and get to the meat of the conversation. As much as small talk does happen in real life, it’s a bit of realism many people want to skip over. Game writers, you don’t want to be the reason somebody mashes the A button…
But there’s more to it, too. Having characters skip over unnecessary dialogue is something we emulate in real life. When referring to a moment with your friends, do you go back and recount it to them whenever you bring it up? Having your characters do it can be a mechanic to remind your readers about things that happened in previous books or earlier chapters, but it doesn’t come out as organic dialogue. And as realistic as some overly unnecessary dialogue can be to our daily lives, it’s not something we want to bring forward into our writing – it’ll have the same effect.
What NOT to do: “Hey Ryoku, you remember what I said in the woods earlier?”
Ryoku thought about it. “You mean when you were talking about Syaoto?”
Will nodded. “Yes, when I said you should see my world.”
They reached the Registry. Will held the door for Ryoku, who sidled in wordlessly.
If your readers remembered or guessed what Will was talking about in the first line, then the next two are completely unnecessary. Do they build up your characters? Can you tell anything about Ryoku from that passage? At this point, he’s just become a memory refresher.
Try: “Hey Ryoku, you remember what I said in the woods earlier?”
Ryoku rolled his eyes. “Probably.”
Will jogged to catch up with him. “Have you given it any thought?”
“It doesn’t matter.” Ryoku didn’t meet his gaze. Will held the door to the Registry open for him; Ryoku didn’t meet his gaze as he slipped past him. “I’m still leaving when we’re done here.”
“Yes, but perhaps my king can help your cause.”
“Perhaps.” Ryoku turned away to focus on the Registry attendant.
One thing you might notice is that, yes, I did use more words. It took longer to say this than the last passage, but in doing so, I’m also avoiding the need to approach the idea properly later. Ryoku’s word choices and actions show his mood more than anything else, and it still lightly reiterates the point they’re discussing if the reader didn’t catch on while moving conversation forward. That leads onto our next point…
3. Actions are louder than words. This one is hard, especially for us plugging away at our word documents while heavily delaying a bathroom break (or scrolling Facebook instead of writing). For novel writers, this is directing your characters to physically act out a scene amid dialogue breaks. For DMs, this is calling for a roll instead of making a NPC ramble. In gaming, this can be a character doing a quick animation to show something rather than trusting the dialogue to convey that action, or mapping an action to fit their sentence better. You can give a character better exposition by showing them do something rather than telling somebody they do this.
When you have players to think of, this can also translate to them doing something. Giving players a prompt to do or say something and having more control over the dialogue can waken someone who hasn’t been paying attention. In storytelling, its a way to move the story forward while still keeping character dialogue in and relevant. It can even offer other elements to the story, such as characters who will say one thing while doing another. Combining actions and dialogue keeps your story refreshed and moving forward. It’s also a good way to convey emotions indirectly rather than spelling it out, ie. “she stomped away and slammed the door” as opposed to “she left angrily.”
What NOT to do: “This is a recurve shortbow. In terms of archery, a beginner’s tool. Far simpler than yer longbow or crossbow. Why don’t I show ye how to use it?”
“Okay,” I agreed, though it looked intimidating. I watched as he set the quiver on the counter and demonstrated how the bow moved.
He straightened up, loosened his legs and shoulders, then drew the wire back and notched an arrow. In an abrupt movement, he swung around and freed an arrow just over my shoulder. It had hit bullseye on a target just behind me, possibly just for such a purpose.
Now how much of the last line did you actually read? Do you think you got a grasp of how to shoot an arrow from the scene? If you didn’t, then do you think Ryoku did? The section is fairly short and concise, but not memorable. The dialogue is stale and quickly turns pointless.
Try: “Recurve shortbow,” he elaborated, as though that might explain it all. “In terms of archery, a beginner’s tool. Far simpler than yer longbow or crossbow.” He set the quiver on the counter and demonstrated the movement of the bow. “Ye just loosen up your legs and shoulders, keepin’ yer body like a turret. Draw the wire back just to about this length, notch an arrow here…” He notched an arrow to the bow, moving much more quickly than I was fully following, then swiveled the bow around and freed an arrow just over my shoulder.
“Fairly simple when ye get the hang of it,” he added, chuckling, and strolled around me to pluck the arrow from the bullseye of a target behind me. “Always a gold reaction, laddie.”
It’s a bit longer, but did you get more of a sense of what’s going on? It gave Kimball, the shopkeeper, a bit more dialogue and a chance to make the inference relatable – it’s also actually pulled from archery lessons and present in my book. Rather than a cut-and-dry explanation, I stepped into the shoes of Ryoku and Kimball to deliver a small scene with more power – and hopefully to the readers as well. I also stepped into something else: action beats. It’s the act of interrupting normally heavy dialogue scenes with intermittent action to keep characters from dumping big paragraphs of text. That leads to my next point…
4. Use writing beats. Writing beats are a term borrowed from scriptwriting which can certainly apply to novels and other forms of writing. In dialogue, it translates best as a three-beat rule: to keep about three stops or sentences at a time before interrupting with an action beat. Action beats help keep dialogue from piling into big walls of texts, and they’re super important if you want to keep the reader or audience engaged.
Even in times of necessary worldbuilding dialogue, emotional conversations, or other important revealing moments, people will rarely just stand around and listen without reacting in some sort of way. It can be small or big, depending on the nature of the scene. I’ll show an example…
What NOT to do: “Magic is a dark, archaic art,” Nocrier said, “one that is very difficult to teach. Difficult to learn. It’s changed a lot in recent years. No longer is it possible to be born with an innate, and immediately usable, gift. Hours of rigorous training, studying, and practicing must come into play. For starters, I have plenty of books on the subject…”
It’s only the beginning, but you can tell Nocrier is about to launch into paragraphs of unhindered text. As a reader, your eyes might already be scanning ahead to see when he stops talking. How much of it is relevant? Are you going to notice relevance in a wall of text?
Try: “Magic is truly an archaic art, and one very difficult to teach. Difficult to learn.” Nocrier dropped a stack of thick texts on the counter, causing clouds of dust to catch the smoky sunlight. “It’s changed in recent years. No longer is it possible to be born with an innate, and immediately usable, gift.”
“But what about Katiel?” I steadied the table that shook under the weight of these books, eyeing the numerous pages uneasily. “Wasn’t he born with magic?”
Nocrier snorted. “Long ago, yes. Once it was possible to do such a thing. But since the Falling…”
I failed to steady the table as Nocrier dumped another stack of books down, and one of them tumbled to the ground, opening up on the floor. “Since the Falling?”
You can still tell you’re going to get lore-dumped with information about magic. Ryoku’s clearly nervous about the intensity of what he’s going to learn, but he’s also curious. The setting is unfolding in the background. You can tell the age of this room, sense the lore behind the lost talent of magic. You’re probably following more closely. You can see where, yes, Nocrier might ramble, but you can tell when important information must be coming. There’s even a bit of humor in the situation, which can help dissuade a feeling of inevitable lore overload.
When in doubt, think of real-life examples. Look at how engaging people talk, especially if you want engaging characters. Don’t just watch them monologue, though – watch them interact with different types of people, and how they do so. Study people who talk like your characters, who emulate the same feeling, and watch everything that goes on behind their words. When applicable, think of the emotions behind it or behind the ears of the listeners. Study diction, body language, and necessary words.
I’ll be touching on topics like this more in coming weeks, so stay tuned and don’t hesitate to leave feedback, good or bad!
Sovereign Soul 
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